Truth of being a
girl child was a fortunate or an unfortunate thing to consider, I had no
answer.
But my father looked highly exclaimed with happiness. It seemed his
ultimate desire of life had accomplished.
About five and half of month passed. I was being trained to learn to
identify different family members and their different ways of
expressing love, for me.
I enjoyed being into the family.
I remember that day when my father told my mother that the family was
going for a vacation next morning. Things
happened accordingly. The whole family including me, headed for the
village, reaching next evening.
It seemed as there was a marriage ceremony that lasted for four days. On the
day bride farewell ceremony finished, everybody in the house looked calm
and relaxed as a big function was over.
It was my father's dearest cousin marriage.
Within two hours of this function that had finished, my father complained
severe sudden headache.
Everybody in the house rushed for a taxi. He was taken to the hospital.
Next morning ...
My grandfather received a phone call. He fainted as soon as he attended it. Somebody from
the village sent a message into the home, silently and from then, I could not understand why everybody in the house was screaming and
crying loudly.
I had never seen my mother into such a state before. It appeared as if she had
lost something very precious. Well what it was, I had no idea.
And from then changed almost everything that related my life.
By that time I was just six months old child, on the day, my father died.
I even had not started understanding what different relations meant to me. For me the world was just simple and raw to accumulate.
I could only differentiate good versus bad people only by their friendly or unfriendly gestures. I had to make a guess when my mother cried for my father that day, something had gone bad.
I cried just because my mother cried and got back to normal when my uncle took me into his lap.
Few days passed my eyes used to search my father but I had no idea that he would never return.
As time passed my stored memories fainted. Now I could hardly recall that my father was missing. Now I had started recognizing new people in the house.
My maternal grandfather suggested a new marriage proposal for my mother.
It was totally a rubbish proposal as it had been only fifteen days my father died.
Surprisingly my mother agreed without family consent. It appeared she had no concerns for me otherwise she would have rejected the proposal at least for the time being.
Nobody in the house even had the issues about my future perspective.
My mother started many arguments frequently in the house with my grandmother every, day and night. I could not understand why she shouted on my grandmother, as she too had lost her precious son. So there was no point in shouting at her anyway.
No body had problem in the remarriage stuff but it was too early to take a decision. My mother didn't care for any sentiments, I hope my father wasn't watching all this.
My mother asked for my father's share in the property. But, family denied.
No body asked me what I wanted. Care, love, affection and attachment like words had lost their essence for me. I could only acquire hatred, disrespect and insecurity as no body cared for me. Believe me I was just six months old by that time.
I felt if I would have been a boy child my mother hadn't wished for her second marriage. But what if even my mother was least interested in me.
Next morning suddenly few people came in the house, lodged all my mother's luggage into a taxi. I was grabbed off from my grandmother's lap. But my mother looked happy as it was all pre planned to invite her brother from her maternal house.
I had no idea where I was being taken to. I reached my maternal uncle's home. No body asked me for my consent. I had no option other than crying.
Totally a new place, new people and again new relations. My mother was sent to another state to avoid villager's protests. But this time I was not being taken alongwith her. I was left all alone in a new environment surrounding strangers.
Three years passed I grew up here alone. My Mother got married into a new family. She never came back even to see me once .
I always used to ask my maternal grandma about where, my parents were, with no answer from the front, maybe just because some chapters were still remaining to be explored in my childhood.
In lieu of this, a stranger came to the village and claimed my grandmother that he was my real uncle.
He wanted to take me home back to Delhi where I was born. I cried and denied to go anywhere as I hardly remember where I was born and who, that man was. But they all, convinced me with biscuits and toys. I accepted and reached my new home back in Delhi.
Again a new place, new people and new relations to entertain. Again nobody asked what I wanted.
From one place to another I was kept wandering. I always kept trying to understand what would have been my developmental affinities if I would have been a boy child.
.................................................................................................................................................
"This girl obviously deserves all her rights to be secured. Well she is just five years old by now staying in a safe family that promises her to ensure her life security through better education, love, care and affection, no matter her both parents are still missing. She has been admitted in a good, reputed public school that will definitely help her shaping her future. Now she knows her father is no more. She has made many friends here. And I hope with time she will evolve into a good and a strong woman. "
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