Saturday 31 March 2012

Episode 4: Believe Me Love Is Incurable

''A saga of a lady who chose "Power to Reject" things that society, imposed on her forcibly,  knowing that it would develop into, a deep pain and finally  put her into a situation where she would be only and only, surrounded by extreme loneliness. A lady who knew how pure her love was and she couldn't stop herself getting infected with an incurable love."
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A fourteen year old girl was being married to a guy who had just turned up sixteen. I remember the day when I met this lady. I couldn't see her face as it was covered with her long yellow aanchal ( a kind of veil) as she was going to follow up, the long  marriage ceremonial customs which lasted for eight  hours.
I enjoyed the ceremony just being as one of the groom's relative.

 The  ceremony ended smoothly that day.

Days passed. I was back home in Delhi.

It had been only three months for that marriage, I remember the day when  some of my relative's friend, told me, on a call that the groom had been missing, for nine days. He told me that the groom was not happy with the lady, he was married to as she had some defect in one of her eyes that made her look, not beautiful before her husband.

I went totally unsatisfied to the excuse, the husband made, that might had been rumored otherwise.

Twelve years passed. He didn't return.
                                                               
                                                                ..................

Coincidentally, I had to visit the same village for attending one more marriage ceremony, so I got a chance to meet this family but this time I was very much concerned . I went to see the family though after a long time period.
                                                               
I approached the family and as soon as they identified me, I asked about the issues,I was interested in.

                                                                .................

It had been only fifteen minutes, I started talking, I was stunned to see that same married woman, worshiping the Lord Shiva.

As far as the rumor that used to describe her, was exactly opposite, she looked.

A beautiful fair lady wearing yellow saree ( Indian traditional dress) with a soft spoken, very impressive vocal sounds, asked me for a tea.

I was amazed as she had not been remarried but was still working as an ideally married  woman with no complains, with no  impression of being alone or any kind of lamentations. Her smiling gestures were totally unforgettable.

She believed he would return. She behaved as everything was normal.

She had no words of complaints with anybody, in the house. Waking up at five, in the early morning, finishing the  home tasks, was her daily routine including a rigorous continuous worship stuff lasting for two hours.

                                                               ..................
Though she was not educated much, neither she was bad at communication. She might have inherited or acquired the essence of believing in pure love from her paternal family. She had nothing to keep with her except the hope.

I remember when she said, " God is great, and I have been believing in him since I started understanding my relationships, so God has no option left  other than taking my harsh tests."

I really had to bow before the lady for what she just had said. Speechless.

How come a lady could have such a deep and firm faith for a person who may or may not be alive as twelve years of time span, may not be small enough  for the faith to continue.

                                                                    .................

This episode would not have been complete until last december if  something that shook my head, would not has happened .


                                                                   ..................

The boy returned. He was caught pouring spiritual offerings in holy river Ganga in Haridwar. He was totally a transformed saint by now who had quit-ted  the materialistic world with completely lost desire of being into family relations.

Long haired, deep entangled mustache with dense hairs covering  half of his face. This is how he looked. He was forcibly taken home by two people who recognized him, at Haridwar.

This couldn't be a mere fact of coincidence that  he was caught by his relatives but was, the strength of the lady whose soul was tied with her husband.

 On being questioned, about his family and his wife, husband said, " While he was coming back to that day from Delhi to the village, he was attacked upon, by some trains looters who robbed him, for everything he had and then they threw him off the running train and then he lost his consciousness. Next morning, few saints found him on their way and took him, to a hospital and sold , all of their belongings to save his life. When he was back into his conscious they proposed him to choose, out of two paths, one that leads to materialistic life and other that requires to be sworn into the life of saints.He owed his life to them and he became a saint."



But the love of the lady was more powerful than the essence of being a saint. So he was caught. Now he seems to have accepted her deep love and hence he is back in her life.



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     " So the silent pains from which the lady was internally suffering had to halt"















Thursday 29 March 2012

Episode 3 : Parents Unsophisticated


"Are you a struggling creature from a middle class family trying to establish yourself in the society? Well ! Its always good to prove your affinities but not at the cost of temporal isolation from your parents. Oh!You will say now you have a very busy schedule so you hardly get a couple of minutes to share with your parents. 

Do your parents often complain  about your schedules and what if they deny meeting you in case you get to manage few hours of your so called busy schedule to have a word with them? Oh! Your sophistication sucks. Here I present a short  shared experience in my life that teaches us to value parental presence." 
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Suresh, a twenty and half year old guy, lucky and fortunate to have both parents assisting him in every small way they could so that he could succeed in meeting his life goals.

His mother even after being a diabetic for last ten years runs a small sewing center stitching ladies stuff. A thick pair of hanging eye glasses pretending to cover up very clear dark and patchy scars under her eyes. Thanks to hectic sewing schedule that has invariably developed into severe neck pain. 

Father remains busy most of the time selling vegetable stuffs though he also owns a small shop selling fruits products but being at extreme corner of the street, shop hardly benefits family.

It has been years if all of three have dined together as there always existed a rare probability of meeting at one time, believe me they all stay under same roof. 

How often you have been through a situation where you see your father but have no time to  talk even a word to spell for him, just because you are in a run to reach your working place?

The only dream Suresh  had ever imagined was to provide his parents with the best delicacy no one had ever received. 

For his parents the world is just confined within the limited spatial boundaries. They don’t even have any idea about kind of diversity that does exist outside their confinements his parents have created. 
They have never been to theatre, good parks, never bought a minute thing even from a sophisticated mall.

 Most surprisingly they spend 18 hours of a day trying to adjust and compromise in solving family issues.This is what actually prevails in every low or moderate middle class family. 

 So who else should owe assurance for their fainted desires and happiness? 

Resurrecting their lost original identity may not be as  easy to mention herein.
What if your parents are not educated much? How to vanish the communication gaps if it exists? 

These were of few questions Suresh started to find answers for.


Day 16, January 2011, Suresh cracked a national level entrance securing a handsome scholarship. Life took a turn for better. His salary was more than sufficient to earn happiness for his parents .

But Suresh's excess spending habit was by the time becoming trendy. Having a coffee at Costa or Cafe coffee day was now affordable. Dining at costly restaurants became a daily routine. 

He could hardly save anything for his family. So his parents continued working.

One evening when Suresh returned back home from work he found his parents missing. Things were burnt into the house because of the fire that broke into  the house. 

Both of his parents were critically admitted in hospital as he was told by the neighbors.

He rushed for a taxi to see his parents.

Thanks to God! It was not a severe accident but the incident was equally severe to leave its impact on Suresh.

Now his routine has changed dramatically. Now he spends few hours with parents talking, caring and prefer dining together and it is not very surprising to mention that they even go to theaters now. Giving a warm water-oil neck massage is helping his mother healing neckpain.

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 "So what I have realized  personally is  that owing few small things, sharing few hours can do a little but it’s really not that self-sufficient to value what our parents deserve. "

Wednesday 28 March 2012

Episode 2 : Education Crystallized

"India needs more schools than malls, less pubs than book stalls."
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A group of school boys in a local Delhi bus, with upper top shirt button opened, loosened  necktie, pants swinging or stuck at waist bones and hairs spiked with a hard gel,  were enjoying passing comments on college girls going sideways along the roads and in the bus.


Though the bus had enough space to accommodate, but who bothers if any of the doorstep hanging school guy falls off the bus. You have to believe me with no choice left when I say this is the kind of crowd you will find in twenty first century urban city schools in India.


Almost every high school student, now,  has a mobile phone in pocket no matter if he has books missing in bag.


Some of them enjoy chewing tobacco stuff too. Teachers seem to loose their capture, control and punish policy and if anyone tries the policy, he is himself or herself in danger of loosing the teaching game as numerous laws entails more security to a student than they do in teacher's favour.


Even after IT revolution that promises to change India's face through electronic interventions, it is equally enigmatic to understand how a middle class man who cannot afford  two time good quality meals to survive, can now offer  mobile phones to his school going children to handle. 




After five hours of stay in school, every student on an average goes to a private tuition where the tuition master has to bear all of his or her responsibilities. Some of tuition masters may even be found  claiming to guarantee their student"s performance what astrology they follow I have no clues.  


Forget about class assignments and exams as recently Indian government has confidently made a rule that protects all failures upto eighth standard  to be recognized. It seems funny but believe me no student can be officially failed till this standard no matter if it takes years to pass next high standard where such rules are arbitrary to establish.


With ninety students in a thirty by thirty room having a single teacher entertaining an hour or so, just to take attendance may not be a funny scene to mention. But don't worry government is spending huge lumpsum  on higher education. But what if primary education system has its roots corroded. No body bothers.


In Lieu of that the important assets that are missing include strongly rooted self sufficient primary platforms that ensure the quality education but present scenario says that India has a long way to go to see this happen.






















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Tuesday 27 March 2012

Episode 1 : A Girl Who Had No Option To Choose


Even after India has got its first lady president, the condition of women's status, still requires a strong boost up to secure its prestigious value that is still missing in present Indian scenario. This real time story puts up a severe question against security issues of a girl child. This story has been presented from the perspective viewpoint of a six months old girl child who lost her father by the time she had hardly grown enough to understand what different relations meant to her.


"Listen Sangeeta,  I hope you are gonna deliver a girl child soon, this week as your date is approaching'' said the father.
   Sangeeta smiled and asked how sure he was that she would  have a girl child delivered.

"I have been praying for this for long to Lord Shiva and believe me if it happens I will not ask him to fulfil any other remaining desire in my life ahead," added the father.

I was graced to hear all this when my father expressed his deep love about me especially for a girl child as it was a rare phenomenon in my middle class family. I had no words to express my happiest state. I was in  my mother's womb by the time, my father urged his eternal attachment for me.

As soon as, a week passed, my mother cried and complained for a severe pain. I had no intention to make her suffer but it was natural.

July 25, 2006. I opened my eyes for the first time in the world. I was not welcomed much into the family. In fact  I saw compromised smiley on the faces of the family members. Well, I was the first child of my generation in the joint family having fourteen members in count. 

Truth of being a girl child was a fortunate or an unfortunate thing to consider, I had no answer.

But my father looked highly exclaimed with happiness. It seemed his ultimate desire of life had accomplished.

About five and  half of month passed. I was being trained to learn to identify different family members and their different ways of expressing  love, for me.
I enjoyed being into the family.

I remember that day when  my father told my mother that the family was going for a vacation next morning. Things happened accordingly. The whole family including me, headed for the village, reaching next evening.

It seemed as there was a marriage ceremony that lasted for four days. On the day bride farewell ceremony finished, everybody in the house looked calm and relaxed as a big function was over.
It was my father's dearest cousin marriage.

Within two hours of this function that had finished, my father complained severe sudden headache.
Everybody in the house rushed for a taxi. He was taken to the hospital.

Next morning ...


My grandfather received a phone call. He fainted as soon as he attended it. Somebody from the village sent a  message  into the home, silently and from then, I could not understand why everybody in the house was screaming and crying loudly.

I had never seen my mother into such a state before. It appeared as if she had lost something very precious. Well what it was, I had no idea.

And from then changed almost everything that related my life.

By that time I was just six months old child, on the day, my father died. 
I even had not started understanding what different relations meant to me. For me the world was just simple and raw to accumulate.

I could only differentiate good versus bad people only by their friendly or unfriendly gestures. I had to make a guess when my mother cried for my father that day, something had gone bad.
  I cried just because my mother cried and got back to normal when my uncle took me into his lap.

Few days passed my eyes used to search my father but I had no idea that he would never return.

As time passed my stored memories fainted. Now I could hardly recall that my father was missing. Now I had started recognizing new people in the house.

My maternal grandfather suggested a new marriage  proposal for my mother. 
It was totally a  rubbish proposal as it had been only fifteen days my father died.

Surprisingly my mother agreed without family consent. It appeared she had no concerns for me otherwise she would have rejected the proposal at least for the time being.

Nobody in the house even had the issues about my future perspective.

My mother started many arguments frequently in the house with my grandmother every, day and night. I could not understand why she shouted on my grandmother, as she too had  lost her precious son. So there was no point in shouting at her anyway.

No body had problem in the remarriage stuff but it was too early to take a decision. My mother didn't care for any sentiments, I hope my father wasn't watching all this.

My mother asked for my father's share in the property. But, family denied.

No body asked me what I wanted. Care, love, affection and attachment like words had lost their essence for me. I could only acquire hatred, disrespect and insecurity as no body cared for me. Believe me I was just six months old by that time.

I felt if I would have been a boy child my mother hadn't wished for her second marriage. But what if even my mother was least interested in me.


Indian Flavors Of Middle Class


"Indian  Flavors Of  Middle Class" is a small collection of different real time stories  which find their indispensable place in Indian Society. It includes different tastes of circumstances  in the lives of millions of Indian middle class people. Lack of resources, financial crises and inability to fight against poverty are the few elements that provoked me to ignite a spark in the society through the power of ink and print. Many of the stories discussed in this compilation pertain to my original personal experiences that accumulated over time and with developing intimacy with my middle class friends. Many of us are aware of the problems that we usually face in our lives but very few people have a perception to bring these issues for society benefits. Poverty is the barrier that limits actions and can convert a capable man to an incapable one no matter what plethora of ideas he or she contains as soon as there is no lack of self realization."



Being born in a low middle class family, the most unusual thing that usually used to pinch me off was my inability to connect people from two different facets of life. One side comprising that of my poor friends and another including my so called high profile sophisticated friends. But their faith in me always inspired me to bridge this gap between these two facets.So I decided if a small thought can bring a revolution in actions then why not eradicate the feel bad factor and bring things into focus for the sake of emancipation no matter on what scale, small or tremendous. I hope this effort would inspire its readers. 
                                                                                          

Does this blog represent a true picture of Indian middle class issues?